dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
