I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
