I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
