Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
well you can't waste a boner
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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