I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
