Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
