I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
