please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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