Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
