i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
