So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize