i just had sex bonerless
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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