I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
