My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
