i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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