If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize