the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
