Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
