I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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