Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I cockslap morals
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
