they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
