he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
