yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
