All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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