im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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