She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Randomize
