She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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