i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
