Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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