you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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