I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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