She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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