I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
