so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
