i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She even gives head with a lisp.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize