i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
