And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
