Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
one might say we're banned from that church
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
