Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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