we made out on top of his cat.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
