Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It's like God shit irony all over that family
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
