My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
