i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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