New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
