From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
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