I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
