I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
