I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize