Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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