Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
