I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
