I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
