I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
