I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
