doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
