is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
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