Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize