She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
