I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Is Oprah even human
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
