i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
im holly from the hills drunk
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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