Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
