I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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