worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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