My Higher Power is John Stamos
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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